More from the Botkin Ladies,
A girl once wrote and asked us, “How can you encourage a potential suitor to pursue you without being flirty, forward, or inappropriate? How can you let them know you are available in a God-honoring way without becoming the initiator?”
While there are some things that girls do (from pure hearts) that recommend them as good-things-in-training, there are other things that simply can’t be done in a biblical or appropriate way. We can’t convince someone to pursue us without effectively becoming the pursuer. We can’t scream “Pick me!” in an unobtrusive fashion. We can’t be the fisherman and the fish. We can’t be predatory in an appropriate manner. We can’t bait our traps with godly lady bait. We can’t jump in someone’s lap in a purely figurative sense. If young men know you, and you don’t have a ring on your finger, they already know you’re available.
If you know eligible, godly young men, and they’re not pursuing you, there is nothing you can do to make them. Sisters, as hard as it may be to wait for what God intends to happen, it’s simply not supposed to be in our hands. Remember, Proverbs 31:10 doesn't say, “An excellent wife, who can be snagged by?” Proverbs 18:22 doesn't say, “He who is caught by a wife is caught by a good thing.” And Proverbs 19:14 doesn't say, “A prudent wife will wrap herself up as a present and give herself to you.”
The best (and only appropriate) thing we can do to “encourage a suitor to pursue us” is to be worth their pursuit. If we want to be found, we need to be worth finding. If we want God to give us to a good man, we need to be a good gift.