Poor Polly couldn’t find her words.
She was a bright girl who had read her fair share of good literature, traipsing through Pemberley and Padua with pleasurable ease. Yet too much frolicking on Facebook and tweeting on Twitter had made an unhappy mangling of her vocabulary.
“Like, you know, seriously! Forsooth!”
And thereby hangs our tale.
Though Polly’s dear parents had desired for her to talk with fair speech and write with sound prose, alas, she had fraternized with unwise and daffy peers who deigned to say of careful writing, “How often is happiness destroyed by preparation? Foolish preparation!” followed by this ill-counseled refrain:
“Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow shall I put aside bad habits and form my words as I ought — j/k…LOL!!!”
So when Polly’s day came to dine with a fine lady of society — the very wife of her state’s governor, no less! — hers was not a rhapsody of words when she was asked of her dreams as a noble Christian woman, but rather a sad and painful muttering, “Uh, I don’t know! You know…
“Like ‘To be or not to be,’ or, uh, something…
“Yeah, that’s it — that’s what I’d like to do, your Highness-ship!!!”
For shame, O for shame! What shall become of Polly?
But sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more. Though vanity working on a foolish mind produces every kind of mischief, Mrs. Rebecca Morecraft’s School of Elocution & Composition is a sure-fire corrective for slips of the lips. This intimate 7-week online school will equip ladies to speak with grace, write with precision, and express themselves with nobility as women of God. The one-hour web classes will begin on September 16 and conclude on November 8, running from 8-9 p.m. EST each Thursday evening (excluding October 28).