Saturday, January 03, 2009

The Cottage Man Takes A Bride

Once upon a time, in a not so far but distant land, there sat and busy little man completely engaged in boredom, when he heard a brisk wrapping on his cottage door.
Upon opening the door to the unanticipated guest our main character received a bright and happy, “Hello!” coming from a near stick figure of a man in a plaid 3-piece suit and derby hat sporting a band equally as bright as his smile.

Upon removing the hat from his head he continued, “I imagine a cottage dweller in this not far but distant land must often find himself at a loss for interesting amusements? You haven’t any neighbors near.” A horse whinnied and our cottage dweller peeked over the shoulder of his visitor to spy a horse drawn wagon upon which was painted, “Handy Rick’s Wagon of Tricks.”

“Well, yes I suppose it can be a little quiet here in Hickoryhaven at times. What do you have in mind? Do you have a wife in that wagon?” he said with a smirk and a smile.

“Nooooo-ho-ho-ho, sir nothing like that of course. A horse is enough trouble for a traveling man like myself. What do you say I join you for a cup of coffee, no worries I brought my own coffee maker, and we’ll discuss the other fine items I have brought along with me today? I drove all the way out here when I heard what the folks over in Hunter’s hollow were saying,” The salesman said with a wink.

“What where they saying? Who?” came as a curious reply.

“Weeeeelllllll, it’s no matter really. Perhaps a guitar? Would you like a guitar? Just as soothing as a woman’s voice and nearly as pretty. You could spend your day singing like the Van Trapps.”

“The Van Who? Were they the ones that said something?”

“No, no, friend,” the salesman said with a smile. “The family singers from the next town over know nothing of the matter. Maybe music isn’t your thing? How about a jigsaw puzzle? 1000 pieces? I have several. Do you like puzzles?”

“Puzzles? What matter? Sure, I like puzzles, but tell me what you’re talking about; what THEY are talking about! What did they say?”

“That’s alright, no matter, I am sure they meant no harm.”

The cottage dweller’s eyes widened. “Oh no, it was bad then.” And he hung his head for a brief moment.

“Perhaps you should sit while I relate the story to you. Let me get you a chair.” And the salesman ran to his carriage and back again will a tall stool. “Sit here friend and feel kingly in your tall perch. That ought to lift your spirits”

Pulling up a matching chair next to the discouraged character, the salesmen began to share the hear-say and hubbub that the busy lips at Treehopper’s General store were relating to one another, ending with, “…but it’s nothing to fret over.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one they are talking about! How could they come up with such wild speculations? That I must be sick or perhaps even backward and to say that I could be a lunatic! Why, they don’t even know me!”

“It’s time to stop worrying and start living my friend,” said the friendly salesman as he grasped the cottage dweller’s shoulder.

“There’s only one thing you can do.” The salesman paused and peering up in the sky noted it was approaching noon. “You must get yourself a wife and they’ll know you’re not nutty!”

“But you haven’t one in your wagon and who is there to marry!”

“You’ve asked the right man. My grandmother was the town matchmaker in her day. I’d say I have learned a thing or two from her and I have inherited the family business. Can you be at the church at six?”

“I haven’t a clock, or a ring, or a woman, how do you imagine this possible?”

The salesman ran to his wagon bringing back a ring and a clock and while setting the clock to match his own timepiece he said over his shoulder, “Consider this an early wedding gift! Here man take this ring, I’ll add it to my fees and get you self shaved for you’ll be married tonight!”

Then he dashed away to go find a prospective bride!

Our cottage man was quite rattled after his visit from the stranger. To think he would be married that very evening finally and put an end to the gossip and rumors. His fancy new clock read 2:00 now and it was quite a distance to the chapel. A bite to eat would settle him before he set out on the shortest jaunt down the longest road he’d ever traveled.

In his best (and only) suit he started the long walk to town.

And boy! Wasn’t this the thing to see! For the whole town and the town next over had come to see if the rumors where true. The crazy cottage man had come to town to marry!

And what a sight for our poor cottage friend to see such a turn out for his wedding…

“Psst!” came from the alley beside the black smith’s shop. It was our friend the salesman with another somewhat startled townsman. "I've hired you a photographer! It's a special day you know. I added it my regular fee. I knew you wouldn't mind!"

Three abreast our betrothed cottage man and his two friends walked down Main street toward the chapel surrounded by the whispers and hushes of the towns folk.

To be continued….maybe...


E.J.L. said...

Excellent. How true!

Amber D.M. said...

Oooo! You're such a tease! Do post the next installment soon....please, of pretty please!!! =D

~ Amber

Miss Kelly and Miss Andrea said...

EJL- I enjoyed my visit to your blogs. Very unique!

Amber- I am gathering up somemore things to list. Once I have enough to inspire the next installment I'll give it a shot. lol...