Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Marriage an Idol?

Most single women want to get married.1 A good marriage is something they deeply desire. But for many, their desire is unarticulated, a silent longing. I kept quiet most of the time when I was single and hoping for marriage, mostly out of embarrassment for being romantically unsuccessful. It was easier, and less risky, to just keep it to myself. By my silence, I could avoid ridicule and the possibility of having to admit my failure if marriage never happened.

But today there's an added reason women hide their desire for marriage. They've been told and retold that nurturing such a desire will not only scare men off, but worst of all, it may lead them to idolatry. I see and hear this warning a lot among Christians. It seems anytime someone writes or preaches about marriage to singles, they start with the caveat that wanting marriage is good "as long as you don't make an idol out of it."

Can the desire for marriage really become an idol? It's technically possible. But that notion has been blown out of proportion. And repeatedly suggesting the possibility of idolatry has done more harm than good.

Read Candice Watters' article in full here.


The Serven Clan said...

Facinating. Thanks for the excerpt and the link to the other articles. So, do you still like Idols of the Heart? : )

Lots to chew on,

Dutchess said...

Thank you. I often feel like such a silly girl for wanting a husband. As if marriage is a shallow desire and wanting to marry a guy capable of supporting me makes me some kind of gold-digger. All ridiculous accusations, but sometimes hearing someone else condoning marriage as a holy estate makes me feel just a little bit better. Make that a whole lot.

Miss Kelly & Miss Andrea said...

Wow! Much can be said about both perspectives. What I picked out of both sides of the arguement seem to be in harmony with each other however. I don't agree with both sides 100% in other words.

And boy! In my mind I have launched into a million posts on the topic since your comment came in. I will have to collect them and organize them.

I will say this. I have suffered due to over-zealousness of both perspectives. First in one ditch, then in the other. Both sides are rich in wisdom and each of us have to know our strengths and weaknesses and what applies in our case, so that me might stay on the road and out of the ditches.